Since the Republicans and Catholic Bishops seem to want to be all up in my business about my body, I decided to fill them in what?s been happening with my reproductive system over the last thirty years. Apparently inquiring minds think it?s their right to know. And to have a say.
First, though, I want them to know what kind of woman I am today. I have been married for 25 years?to the same man who also happens to have been my first ?real? boyfriend, so you can read into that what you will about my ?sexual history.? I have four children who are either grown or almost-grown. They are lovely, though not perfect, people who have not known a moment?s insecurity in their lives. They have known denial of material wants and sadness over loss, but not insecurity. My husband and I are not in the 1%, but we earn above the median income and live comfortably thanks to well-placed investments; though most of our disposable income is spent on college for our children. ?I attribute a large portion of our happiness and material success to the ability to plan our family.
The above is just to let you know that I am all about the family values and personal responsibility in my own life. I treasure my family, and my husband and children are the greatest joys in my life.
When I was 18 and made the decision to become sexually active, Planned Parenthood was where I went to get birth control pills. I did this in advance of ever having sex?I knew to do this because I had a mother that talked to me about sex. I cannot thank her enough for her openness and honesty and for setting such a fine example for me to emulate with my own children. My Mom didn?t do everything right as a mother, but she did do that.
When I was 21, despite being on birth control pills, I became pregnant.? My boyfriend and I made what was a not-very-difficult to decision to have an abortion. We didn?t even live together, we were both going to school and I had been drinking the whole time I was pregnant. I have never had a moment?s regret in my life about that abortion. Not one twinge. That?s because I did not abort a baby, I aborted the potential for a baby. It?s worth noting that the abortion was a very early one (about five weeks) because I didn?t have to agonize over the decision or figure out how to get to another state to have one done.
Over the next few years my boyfriend and I matured, married, bought a home and started a family.
My last pregnancy was due to a birth control failure as well; I was nursing my youngest son, so I was taking very low-dose contraceptives and those are not as effective as the higher-dose pills. Because I was stable, married and, luckily, planning on have another child I was delighted with this surprise pregnancy.?
I worked in the health care profession and I keep abreast of the latest research on all sorts of health issues, so after I weaned my youngest, I decided to take birth control pills in an unconventional (for the time) way?I took the active pills continuously and only had a period three times a year. I did this because there is a theory that some of the ?female? cancers have increased because we have many more periods than our foremothers did as we don?t spend as much time pregnant and nursing. It made sense to me; besides, I love to be active in the outdoors and that?s a lot easier to do when you don?t have to worry about being too far from a bathroom.
When my oldest daughter had painful periods with a heavy flow, I didn?t hesitate to put her on oral contraceptives to mitigate the intensity and length of her periods; I couldn?t think of a good reason why she should suffer on a monthly basis when there was an alternative. My youngest daughter developed acne that needed treatment. Thanks to the combination of birth control pills and occasional low doses of an antibiotic, her skin is clear. That they were already taking the pill did not lead my daughters to become prematurely sexually active.
My husband, a man who walks the walk of family values in a way that puts Newt Gingrich to absolute shame, would not dream of telling his wife, his daughters, his mothers or his sisters how they should deal with their own bodies or manage their health. He was more than happy, when the time came to ensure that there were no more babies for us, to have a vasectomy. There was nobody protesting outside the clinic when he went to have it; neither did he have any trouble finding a doctor that performed the procedure. Hmmm.
I spent this morning talking to my 17-year old daughter about the need for her to become politically active in the cause of reproductive rights for women.? The rights she has grown up taking for granted are under serious threat; this is not a time for complacency.
In the end, maybe Rick Santorum, Catholic bishops, Darrell Issa, the State of Virginia and the Susan G. Komen foundation have given us a gift; they?ve shown us that we need act now to safeguard our basic human and civil rights as women. ?Sharing my story is my contribution to the fight, but it?s just the beginning for me.
Bring it, Mr. Santorum, et al. It. Is. On.
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